Many women have a stronger attraction to bad boys than nice guys. They will say that it is because the bad boys are more exciting and the cool guys are very boring. Now that may be a factor, however, I believe that there is something deeper going on. I believe that what makes this happen is what I call the “Casino Effect”.
To explain the Casino Effect, I will describe two different situations that most of us have experienced in our lives. I will then show how these two situations relate to the condition of bad boy / nice guy. This will give you a solid understanding of what the Casino Effect is and why it relates to bad guys and nice guys.
The first situation is to dine at a restaurant, specifically at a restaurant that you have been to and enjoyed. People like to go back to restaurants that they know are good. When someone has a good previous experience somewhere, he expects future experiences to be the same. Most of the time (say 9 out of 10), this expectation is met. The service is fast and friendly football prediction; the food is hot and tasty; and the atmosphere is wonderful. Then, on the tenth time, something goes wrong. The food is bad, the service is a disaster or there is a child shouting at the next booth. Something happens to make the experience unpleasant.
The problem with this is that, as this unpleasant experience was unexpected, this is what we focus on. Our minds are designed to focus on things that don’t meet our expectations. This is an important condition necessary to help our species survive. This allowed us to deal with new situations as they developed.
The next time the idea of going to that particular restaurant is presented, the person will automatically remember the one bad time he had and forget all the good times. They can come back, however, their focus will be on everything that goes wrong and that will lessen their experience. The next time that location is mentioned, the person is likely to express dissatisfaction with it. They may say that the place used to be good, but now it’s bad or how much fun they had the last time they were there. This shift in focus will ultimately destroy your ability to enjoy the place. The end result is that they will stop continuing.
The second situation is to play in a casino. Personally, I come from a long line of players in my family, so I have experience with that. Everyone knows that when they go to a casino the odds are against them. They may say that they hope to win, but the truth is that they know the chances. Most of the time (again we will use 9 out of 10) people lose money in a casino. So, on the tenth time, they win a lot.
The few times people go to a casino and win are the ones that focus because, again, it is beyond their expectations. The main concept of the Casino Effect is that anything that does not meet our expectations will become our focus and be expanded. People always exaggerate the times they won. You never hear people talk about the times when they lost only those who won.
Then again, the main idea of the Casino Effect is something that falls outside of our expectations, no matter if it is good or bad, it will become our focus and be expanded. In the case of the restaurant, it was the few bad experiences and, in the case of the casino, it was the few big wins. Now, let’s look at the bad boy versus nice guy situation.
I’ll start with the nice guy. When a woman is dating a nice guy, most of the time, he does everything right. He will open doors, buy flowers, listen and many other things. Women expect this from nice guys, that’s what they do.
The point here is that, at some point, the nice guy will screw it up (everyone does it at some point).
When the nice guy makes a mistake, that mistake is outside the woman’s expectations. It is the same process as the restaurant example. The woman will focus on the error and expand it to the point where it is all she thinks about. She will begin to question not only the actions of the nice guy, but also the relationship. This creates a downward spiral that usually ends the relationship.
Now let’s look at the bad boys. When a woman is dating a bad boy, they tend to know what they are getting into. They know that they are likely to be mistreated. They hope not to receive all the wonderful things that a nice guy would do.